FIRST THINGS FIRST
June 19, 2005
Texts – Jeremiah 20: 7 - 13
Matthew 10: 24 - 39
“First things first . . .” That’s the message I hear in this collection of Jesus’ sayings from the gospel of Matthew. “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,” he says; “and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up the cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” [Matthew 10: 37-38] In other words – “Be sure you put first things first.”
You and I are constantly making choices. We do it countless times every day. Certainly we are called upon to make choices about the way we will spend our time. Sometimes we do that consciously – we sit down with the calendar and map out our days and weeks and even the months to come. More often we do it unconsciously – responding to this request for our presence or that demand for our attention. But whether these choices are conscious or unconscious, we all have to live with their consequences, and frequently they are not pleasant. Often there’s a gap (isn’t there?) between how we spend our time and what we feel is deeply important.
The classic male experience of this in our culture . . . and it is Father’s Day so I think I’ll try to focus in on that . . . the classic male experience of this lies in the relationship between our jobs and our families. Both cry out for our time and attention. Too often they seem to be locked in perpetual competition with one another.
I remember as a young father being almost overwhelmed by the demands which I felt had been placed upon me. I wanted to be a successful breadwinner for my family, an involved and capable care giver for my children, and a sensitive and loving partner for my spouse. It seemed a Herculean task; one that often nearly got the best of me. I know it is one that many (young parents / of you) – male and female – struggle with now.
“Putting first things first is an issue at the very heart of life,” author Stephen R. Covey says. “Decisions are (relatively) easy when it’s a question between the ‘good’ and the ‘bad,’ . . . but for most of us, the issue is not between the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ but between the ‘good’ the ‘best.’ So often,” Covey writes, “the enemy of the ‘best’ is the ‘good.’”[1]
That’s a pretty accurate description (isn’t it?) of the choices we face as we try to balance the demands placed on us by career and family. Covey goes on –
“Our struggle to put first things first can be characterized by the contrast between two powerful tools that direct us: the clock and the compass. The clock represents our commitments, schedules, goals, (and) activities – what we do with and how we manage our time. The compass represents our vision, principles, values – what we feel is
important and how we lead our lives.”[2]
Keeping those two in balance is a constant struggle.
Jesus is talking about the clock and the compass when he says “whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.” It is not that one side of the equation is “bad” and the other is “good.” Indeed, he chooses a startling list of things which any of us would automatically identify as “good” – mother / father, son / daughter – and then says: “one’s foes will be (the) members of one’s own household.” [10: 36] His point is that even here (or perhaps I should say, especially here) we need a clear standard, a definite hierarchy of values, if we are to treat rightly the things of utmost importance in our lives.
Do you remember how he responded to the young man who asked him to summarize all the teachings of the law and the prophets? “You shall love the lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength,” he said, quoting the scriptures.
“This is the first and the greatest commandment, and a second is like unto it – ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” [Mark 12: 30-31]
The love of God, he says in other words, must be True North on the compass which you use to chart your course through this world. Yes it will lead you to love of neighbor and of self, to say nothing of parent and child and spouse, but there can be and must be only one Ultimate Good in the midst of all these other things which also are good. If you do not have that clear, you will never know which way to go.
But it is hard (isn’t it?) knowing how to choose. We live in a society which offers a veritable smorgasbord of good things for ourselves and our children. Music, dance, sports, the arts . . . they are all available. Travel, entertainment, adventure . . . nothing wrong with any of them. Each comes, of course, with a price tag . . . Indeed, each one comes not just with one but with at least two price tags attached. One is measured out in dollars and cents; the other is calculated in a far more precious currency – time. There are only twenty four hours in any one of our days; choices must be made. If you do not have a clear compass to guide you when that time comes, the chances of getting lost are very great indeed.
“You shall love the lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength . . . You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” This, Jesus says, is where we must start. Let it be your touchstone, your compass, your guide.